Unanswered Questions

People act weird sometimes... I mean, isn't it strange some of the habits we have? All of the tendencies and social norms that we adopt as we age. They are natural reactions that are cued by scenarios that we are presented everyday and they are almost all dictated by what society as a whole has deemed "correct" or "wrong."

Andrew Hales has a whole YouTube channel dedicated to forcing these awkward situations. Here's a great video of him putting people in one of his socially awkward situations.

As much as I love the awkwardness of seeing how people react to Andrew trying to hold their hand in this video, I think we can easily observe these strange tendencies in an "unfabricated" setting. The typical classroom situation where the teacher asks, "Does anyone have any questions?" is my favorite. The teacher opens the discussion to anyone in the class to speak up, and students with questions look around unable to get themselves to just raise their hand. Students turn their heads side-to-side, avoiding eye contact with the teacher, and hoping someone will ask their same question so they can get the answer without all the attention of the class. Embarrassed about not knowing everything, we are afraid of just the thought of asking a question. 

Two years ago, two big life questions were constantly on my mind.

1. What is my purpose in this life?

And, 

2. Why is it that no matter how hard I try, I can't be as good of a person as I feel I should be?

Up to this point, I had refused to address deep questions like this, unable to quote-on-quote "raise my hand" in life, and I enjoyed the simple life where I acted like I knew all the answers afraid to come across as not knowing. But then I realized, if I don't ask I'll never know. Something has to be true. There must be an answer, whether I ask the question or not, and I want to know it.

But who do you ask to answer these questions? And if many people claim no one can know the answers to these questions, why ask at all? Sticking with the classroom scenario, if in the classroom the answer to a question could determine whether or not you pass or fail the course would you ask it?

I ran into students at Penn State who lived with a purpose, and seemed to be living a good life and wanting to know what made them different I spent time with them and learned from them. I asked questions. The answer to those two questions came from people I barely knew explaining the story of Christ to me.

This is still the only answer that appropriately answers all of my questions about humanity, this world, our past, our purpose, and what our future will look like. For the first time ever I was in a classroom where I wanted to ask the teacher every question I had and could come up with. And every step of the way that teacher has followed through on answering those questions, because I asked Him.

We all have questions, and there are answers to those questions whether we ask for them or not. And by no means have I had all of mine answered. But in times of doubt He has "conveniently" had me read the stories of Gideon, David, and Thomas, who doubted the existence or plans of God also. Yet God/Jesus was patient with them and helped them step-by-step in overcoming these questions and doubts. He's not expecting us to understand everything right away. He wants us to ask questions about Him and His purpose for this world and watch as our questions get answered.

I still don't have all the answers, but I had found where I could get them from and I have never felt more fulfilled than in these moments when I learn from Him. Every day that I spend time reading His Word more truths become visible and present. I believe we all have those moments where truths about this world "resonate."

Andrew and some of the individuals in that video embraced the awkwardness and some didn't. I find the ones who play along or have fun remarks afterwards are more enjoyable to watch than those who are annoyed. Are you willing to embrace going against the social norm of staying quiet?

Are you willing to ask questions? Are you willing to ask the tough questions? To come across as the person who maybe doesn't know everything? Because that may be the most freeing decision you ever make in your life. It was for me.

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened."

                                                                                                     - Matthew 7:7-8 -

Relatability

It's been about nine months since I started this blog, and I have yet to write about my initial vision for these posts. What is "The Modern Shepherd?" I mean, I titled my whole blog after this, and to this date I have yet to really touch on its meaning. Modern.... meaning contemporary, or current. And shepherd... a job that symbolizes leadership and is about as "un-modern" of an occupation as it gets. I wanted to create a blog that presented ideas about what attributes would make the ideal leader but for a year I've been silent on this probably because I was trying to figure out for myself what a leader does, or is.

Maybe it's not really a particular skill-set that one can acquire that makes a leader. It's a mind-set and a particular heart that will make someone successful. I believe that we are all called to be leaders in particular situations and in particular times. The questions we should be asking are "When and where will this opportunity present itself?" and "Will I be ready?"

These past two presidential elections, the term "relatable" has been thrown around more than I can recall in previous elections. Of course, I was much younger and less invested in them, but in a time of economic-turmoil and great struggles, the magnitude of the candidates' relatability has taken precedence. How can an individual who never experienced scarcity and the day-to-day struggles of so many Americans properly lead this country filled with people living in those exact conditions? Or from the "glass is half-full" perspective, wouldn't a leader who has been through these same struggles understand us and what we need more?

I am not trying to state that one party is greater than another, or one individual is greater than the other. On a side note, I would say that government is much more complex than appealing to the needs of one group and therefore relatability is not the sole reason for choosing a particular party or individual. But, rather this illustrates how we all look to a leader who understands us. We all want to be led by someone who shares in our pain, joy, struggles, and victories. We all believe in this ideal leader who completely understands us. We all believe in the Modern Shepherd.

It's about being the leader you want others to be. Makes sense and it seems simple enough. Yet oftentimes, I find myself falling short here. Share in the happiness and struggles of the lives of your peers. Like a shepherd, be in the same field as your sheep. In each individual case this will look differently because the leadership itself looks different. Some environments are more formal than others. Some groups are larger than others and thus present you with more people to lead and invest in. Sometimes leadership is an informal relationship like being the friend or stronghold when a loved one is lost or life gets difficult. But no matter the scenario, there is a way to be relatable, engaging, in touch, and invested in others.

By no means am I good at being relatable. In the repetitive grind of school and extracurricular activities it is difficult to find the time to invest in others and just spend time with them. But I wonder what the world would look like if we all invested in others like this. What if we all were Modern Shepherds constantly looking out for those we lead?

As a wrap-up, four men experienced over 4 weeks what the lives of millions of Haitians had been for months at this point, in an attempt to understand how they can best help them. I think this captures relatability in its purest sense and sheds light on what leadership like this can do for others as well as ourselves.

The Danger of Relativity

I thought taking philosophy during my last semester was going to be a fun and "eye-opening" class that would be great to end college with. But early in the semester I am realizing that it wasn't exactly what I expected.

Fun at times, but often frustrating, this class has opened my eyes. Everything is relative in this class. Everyone's beliefs belong to them, and there is neither truth nor falsehood. These class discussions were going nowhere because the barrier of relative truth stands in the way.

Like everyone it seems these days, at first it seemed there was no better forum to spew out my annoyance and opinions than Facebook and I posted this:

"Philosophy - the art of asking questions without ever having the intention of answering them, and rejecting all notions of truth to avoid the feeling of needing to change ourselves or our society"

I removed it quickly because I realized that it wasn't completely true, and that it shouldn't be true. We can look at philosophy and find the answers to our questions. Sometimes the truth doesn't feel so good, and that's where this class has been stopping. What's the point of searching for an answer if we shy away from anything that might say we were initially wrong?


We were discussing Ralph Waldo Emerson's work entitled "Circles."

His argument is that because nature is constantly evolving and because our actions seek to "outdo" previous actions that there can be no universal truth, because the truth of reality is consistently changing. That for every circle drawn, every horizon we see, we are able to draw another circle outside of it or go beyond that horizon. We are essentially limitless.

His discussion of growth and development is clearly a part of life, and it is engrained into every aspect of the world. We live in a world that has a story to it. It is progressing. It has a plot line. So I agree with his idea of pursuing excellence and development but there are two problems I find in his conclusion.

 

1. Just because the world is changing does not mean that there is no existence of an overarching truth.

 

2. And just because growth is not limited in certain aspects of our life, does not mean that we have no limitations.

Here's an illustration of that first point. A doctor is diagnosing a patient. Given the symptoms, the doctor is able to bring down the possible source or cause of illness down to 10 possibilities. Even though the doctor is not completely sure at first which of these 10 are in fact the true source of sickness, we cannot conclude that nothing is causing an illness. We can't state that because we don't know, that nobody knows or that there isn't a true illness causing it. Our perception and knowledge have no influence on truth.

Or take this example. One thousand years ago, if I had two rocks and a friend gave me two more rocks, I would have four rocks. The same would be true today, ten thousand years ago, and ten thousand years in the future.

And if someone were to state that I in fact had five rocks and not four, would we conclude that because we can't agree that therefore to me it is four rocks and to him it is five? Would we say the number of rocks is relative? Or would we say that it is impossible to know the truth because there are conflicting perspectives?

There are laws and facts that do in fact stay true throughout time and so to say everything is relative is to not address the point that there is some storyline that is existent in this universe. Whether or not it is a good or bad story is another discussion.

And despite the fact that everyone's carrying cell phones, driving cars, flying across the globe, and are more immersed in a technology-driven world, have we really changed over time?

Have we changed? Shootings and wars still occur. People steal and people lie just like they did centuries ago. We stab the backs of others, we look out for number one despite the small internal urge that throughout time has told us to care for others and to be above these temptations and poor moral decisions.

To answer the second point, the shortcomings of man's ability to abide its own moral code is a circle we can't break out of and that we clearly have limitations on.

Until we acknowledge our own boundaries and limitations, we will continue to accept the notion that truth is relative. And as long as we believe this statement, that essentially states that you don't have to and shouldn't align yourself with anything that may suggest that we change. And the big danger of relativity is that we may just be missing out on hearing the truth.

The Chief Good

Inspired by Ethics by Aristotle.

It still hasn't hit that I'm about to start my final semester here at Penn State. And the crazy thing is that there is still an unsettled feeling about the next step. But do we ever feel completely comfortable about what life brings next? Going from middle school to high school. The transition to college. Taking on a first full-time job. Switching jobs or moving. Marrying and having kids. I haven't personally gone through all of these, but I believe I can say that at each turn in life, there are questions to be answered, doors to be opened, and big decisions to be made.

And as I look back, these past four years are culminating with this next step in life; leaving the "bubble" that is State College, to go into the "real world". All of the classwork, internships, and research has been directed toward this next step. Upon reflection, I can say that my life these past several years has primarily revolved around this pursuit of a career I desire. But how much of my life should revolve around this? What am I striving for? And should I go through life simply taking it year by year with the end goal being the desired next step?

It's officially 2013. And many take time at the beginning of each year to make resolutions or changes to themselves to make a stride toward a better future. But how deep are they typically? Usually they rarely get past the level of "I plan to remove Twinkies from diet" or "I plan to run a half marathon this year as a goal for getting in shape". My point is not to diminish the importance of these changes but to suggest there are potential changes with very great importance.

Have you ever sat back and thought about what it was you were working towards in life? What would make you life complete? What would make your life worthwhile? Is it happiness? Is it success? Money? A relationship? A nice house?

Why does the pursuit of this deserve the investment of your life?


The Chief Good; an idea proposed by Aristotle, is the focal point of all of our effort, energy, time, and resources. That our entire lives revolve around this one thing that we are striving for. The Chief Good has to be the root of our pursuit. Therefore "happiness" cannot be a Chief Good because it relies on something(s) to provide happiness. The Chief Good is not vague but very specific.

Personally, I believe my Chief Good has been security. Risk rarely could be justified in my life, and taking chances was never something I was comfortable with. I wanted a job that would produce financial stability so that I wouldn't have to worry about my level of comfort. I didn't want to have to worry or be reliant on anyone else. Simply put, I wanted a smooth-sailing life. During these past couple years, I realized just how self-centered that was and that that's not how life is meant to be lived.

And I'm making a conscious effort to try to change it. After much thought and reflection, I personally could find only one Chief Good in life that was a clear direction for me, and would provide pure completeness. I've realized that God is the center of everything and that I want to glorify Him in response to the the mercy He's demonstrated for me. And other chapters of life fit into this greater storyline. At the end of my life, "completeness" will come from investing myself in ways that aligns with God's plan for this earth and my life.

So what's your Chief Good? What resolution have you made or are you going to make in 2013 and the rest of your years beyond? In the rush of life, sometimes a step back to see where we are going is needed. I hope you find that break early this year. Happy New Year everyone! I wish you all a very fulfilling 2013.

Excommunicate the Band Geeks

Visiting home for the weekend just a week ago, I got the opportunity to see a high school football game for the first time in three or four years. Ahhhh.... The glory that is Friday night lights. Hard to believe so much time has past, and well, after being at so many Penn State games, it was a little less exciting than I remembered in high school. And what had also changed, was my perception of the band. Alex, if you're reading this, don't be offended, but I did not remember being that well... "weird". I mean, all high school kids there came across as weird, but it seemed different than when I was in it.

I remembered being one of the "cool" kids in the band. My friends and I always said there were two parts of the band. There was the cool group, us, and then there was the "band geek" part that was a poor reflection on the rest of us. They were the part that the rest of the school saw, which led them to label us all as "band geeks." At times, I hoped that these individuals just wouldn't be a part of the group because then the remainder would be a perfect representation of who we actually were, the "cool band" I envisioned.

But as it turns out, that's all it was. A vision. A biased interpretation. A false reality. We were all "band geeks."

Hold that thought: "Ben realized he was a band geek."

Now, three days later, I was watching some election coverage. And let me just say, I think it's impossible to watch politics and enjoy it. Politics always leaves me ticked off, which makes me wonder why I watch it in the first place. Anyway... CNN was discussing Romney's faith as it relates to his platform on homosexuality. They had five gay and lesbian individuals on camera talking to the reporter about how their churches had either excommunicated them, or would if they found out about their sexuality. My only thought: Where is the acceptance?

Christians and non-Christians alike I'm sure have heard of this type of nonacceptance within the church. This isn't an issue solely about homosexuality. It's a greater problem that we need to be aware of. Some individuals, even on the basis of appearance (tattoos, piercings, hair color) find closed doors at their local church.

When I was in the high school band, I saw others in the group as less than myself at times and wished they weren't there. I thought, "Excommunicate the band geeks." This sounds terrible. Even I see that now. But haven't we all thought this at some point?

Maybe you've been on a sports team where you felt a certain individual held you back. A team member on a project, that you felt didn't produce as good of work as you. Or a coworker who wasn't as skilled or as smart as you. Did you feel that they should have been cut from the team, kicked out of the group, or fired? I think to some degree we have all felt this.

In our nature, we like to think highly of ourselves. Our morality. Our strengths. We may not consider ourselves the best, but we always look for someone "worse" to compare ourselves to. More so than we should. The same goes with Christians. Do we always see ourselves for who we really are? Not at all. We fail to identify with the lying, greedy, prideful, angry,  and just plain broken and messed up people that we are. And the church needs to identify with it's real identity as well. It's not a museum for the perfect. It's a hospital for the sick and weary.

The thing is that in the band, we were all "band geeks". And you know what? I'm fine with that. Same goes with Christians. We are all messed up people. And some individuals you meet will acknowledge this and some won't. Some churches know identify with the reality, and some don't. You'll never find perfection though, because well, how can you build a perfect group from imperfect people?

I want my friends and family to feel comfortable coming to church. I want them to know what Christianity is all about. It's not about putting up a facade of righteousness and perfection by keeping out those we consider less. It's about keeping the door open, extending a hand, and letting them know Christ who was perfect and is still willing to live with and die for, us, even while we actually do fall far short of Him.

The Cardboard Box

What if you lived in a cardboard box from day one of your life with a few other people who have also lived there since birth? All you can recall is the plain brown inside of this cubicle you call your home. You can't hear anything outside of it and you don't know how you got there in the first place. You can't leave it, and because you don't know of what is outside of it, you have no desire to leave.

Seems like a bizarre scenario right? I mean, for us to go spend time in a box ourselves right now would not help us understand this scenario because we already know what is outside of it. But humor me, and give this some thought as we switch gears...


We pride ourselves on knowledge. Our society's hierarchy is very, very, closely related to your amount of education, how much knowledge you possess. These individuals deemed "intelligent" or "bright" or "a genius" run many of our corporations, universities, organizations, heck... even the government as a whole.

Wait just a second. Is he saying that these smart and knowledgeable individuals shouldn't be in these positions? I'm not saying that at all. All I am saying is that we as a society put those who are intelligent on pedestals at times, and when a particular trait is highly regarded like this, it can lead, not always, but oftentimes to pride and arrogance. I can attest to this myself, putting a lot of my identity in my academic success here at Penn State.

We compare ourselves to our classmates, our coworkers, our family on the basis of how much we know about particular subjects. We get into heated debates with the sole purpose of being considered "right" at the end of it. And our perceived wealth of knowledge can keep us from seeing more, and understanding more. What if our own intelligence is a hinderance?

Don't be scared off by the graph. I just think this helps to visualize this idea.

Let's assume that our growth of knowledge is linear over our lifetime. We continuously take in information and gain a greater appreciation of what is around us. We will learn a lot in our lifetime; everything from the alphabet, to how to use computers, to how to work with people, to how to love. But let's also consider what the exponential line represents.

It represents our knowledge of what we don't know. That as we go through life, the complexities increase from will I be fed or get that toy for Christmas as a kid, to why is there so much pain and suffering in the world, and why when I try to be a good individual, do I still fail. I came to Penn State thinking by senior year I would be ready to understand the world. Here I am now, and I realize that I'm just starting to learn so much about this life, and that for every thing I learn there are infinitely more things I realize that I still don't know.


So let's switch the gears back. How does this cardboard box come into play?

If I were to study the inside of the cardboard box for my entire life would I learn anything about the outside of the box? Could I run experiments, tests, or conjure up a hypothesis that would explain the reason for me being in the box, or existence at all? I would argue that the only two things that could be concluded is that one, I exist. And two, something created the box, or the box came from somewhere.

In this world, our own perception and knowledge can only go so far, despite the fact that we want to be able to explain everything. We need to humble ourselves to realize we really don't know as much as we think we do, and as resistant as we may be to admitting that ourselves, it remains true. 

From a practical standpoint, realizing how little we know will free us to learn more, not be shy to ask questions, and allow us to avoid plateauing in our lifetime journey of education. But I think there's something much greater many of us may be missing out on.

Consider this last addition to the scenario. What if a note was given to you claiming to be from the outside that explained the existence of the box and you? What if this note explained a greater meaning for life than just a plain existence inside a cardboard box? Would you read what it had to say, or listen to the others inside the box who say, the cardboard box is simply a box and nothing more?

I didn't believe in Christianity because there were individuals who had made claims that it's not scientifically possible. How could Jesus raise from the dead? No one has ever defeated death. And how could so much evil be in the world if God is supposed to be so good? Wouldn't the world be perfect if He existed? I studied the inside brown wall of my life and I couldn't see how the stories I heard about this note made sense with what I saw.

But I had not actually read the story. I did not know what the note said and therefore did not know the reason for my life or the box. The issue is that if we try to make God fit our own expectations, and don't read His story, then we will always come to that conclusion that he can't exist. Our perception is not everything. The truth is not relative, and it may go against what we like to believe.

If we take a step back, and consider, "maybe I really don't know everything," and take some time to see what the story of the Bible is saying, we'll find answers to other questions that human intelligence can't provide. Who knows? Maybe it will give you a better appreciation for the cardboard box, and what's outside of it.

Lies, Lies, Lies...

"You're not smart enough."                   "You need to cheat to get a good enough score."
                                        "You're ugly."                                                      "You are going no where in life."
        "You aren't skinny enough."             "Nobody likes you."         "No one would miss you if you left."
                             "You have to drink to fit in"               "You will never be successful."
"You will never be able to lead this group."                                 "You can't do it."    
              "Your relationship status indicates your worth"                                        "You'll never get that job."
          "Life does not get better."                         "That person deserves to be put in their place."
                                           "You are worthless."                            


It's amazing how many lies exist in our lives. They originate from all directions: the TV and movies we watch,  the books and magazines we read, and generally it all stems from the lives we live. Constantly acting as an impedance to our walk in life, these little fibs can cut deep, heighten pain, and cause us to act in some cases, and in others, leave us mentally depleted.

And yes, all of those lies listed above do not apply to everyone, but I am guessing that at some point or another, at least one rings true for everyone's life. And it's very likely that one is causing all of us grief and pain right now.

It can be so difficult for us to see them for what they are when we are actually hearing them. They intertwine themselves within our own thought processes like they are one of our own. We consider them, without recognizing their origin or even how false they actually are. And they remain only lies until we submit to them, believing them and acting on them. That's when they become dangerous.

They can lead to jealousy, depression, anxiety, anger, entitlement, slothfulness, and even pride and greed. Yes, the above listed lies are all negative, but lies can also be too positive and self-centered to the point of being dangerous. Dangerous to the point of pushing loved ones away, and distancing ourselves from a humble and fulfilled life.

As we think back to our greatest struggles and toughest times in life, aren't lies often the root of our greatest hindrance to moving forward in life? So how do we make progress when facing these tempting falsehoods?

First, we need to remember that it was through a lie that sin and suffering entered this world. 

"Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’? ”The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’” “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it."
                                                                                                          - Genesis 3:1-6 -

The temptation of Eve by the serpent in the Garden of Eden was the push that got Eve to disbelieve God's commands. She knew what was true, what God desired of her and commanded. But in weakness in conjunction with an insisting lie, she decided to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, disobeying God and causing the fall of man. Lies are precursors to sin.

And second, we must know that hearing lies is not a sin in itself. Lies can lead to sin, but it does not always end this way. There is no question that we are all confronted with this deceit in life but the question does remain "How do we respond to them?"

Even Jesus was tempted. Living a perfect life, He was tempted by Satan to turn stones into bread to end His hunger during the forty-day fast. Satan also tries to tempt Him by offering dominion over all the kingdoms of the world (Matt. 4: 1-11). But Jesus doesn't give in to, I would argue, the biggest temptation in the history of man. He was offered the world and given an option to not die a gruesome death for our sins and yet He is unwavering. He commands, "Away from me, Satan! For it is written: 'Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.'" And Satan left Him.

So how do we respond when we hear voices saying that we're not thin enough or strong enough, or that we're not capable of succeeding or persevering, or that we're not loved? We have to realize that if we believe these twisted mistruths they become reality, can hurt us and those around us, and can lead to further actions that can cause even more pain. They become cyclical, worsening and worsening the more we buy into them. We need to recognize them for what they are and bring them to God in full reliance on Him.

Many unknowns exist as I prepare for the next big step in life. And I constantly hear lies about how the next chapter won't be successful or that my life is not going to fall into place. At times, I believe them, and I worry, which separates me from a faithful walk with God.

But I've realized these big steps are occurring all the time and aren't constrained to my senior year of college. Every day we are face-to-face with decisions, and ones that are influenced by the thoughts we have, both truthful and deceitful. We make decisions about friendships, leadership roles in work, clubs, or organizations, career decisions, what we decide to eat, drink, and wear, and how we perceive ourselves.

The fight is inevitable, so how do we combat this deception? Do we give in to those hidden lies that prod us into taking the paths we are trying to avoid, or do we recognize them for what they are, bringing them into the light, becoming stronger and victorious? It's a choice.