Monday, August 13, 2012

Lies, Lies, Lies...

"You're not smart enough."                   "You need to cheat to get a good enough score."
                                        "You're ugly."                                                      "You are going no where in life."
        "You aren't skinny enough."             "Nobody likes you."         "No one would miss you if you left."
                             "You have to drink to fit in"               "You will never be successful."
"You will never be able to lead this group."                                 "You can't do it."    
              "Your relationship status indicates your worth"                                        "You'll never get that job."
          "Life does not get better."                         "That person deserves to be put in their place."
                                           "You are worthless."                            


It's amazing how many lies exist in our lives. They originate from all directions: the TV and movies we watch,  the books and magazines we read, and generally it all stems from the lives we live. Constantly acting as an impedance to our walk in life, these little fibs can cut deep, heighten pain, and cause us to act in some cases, and in others, leave us mentally depleted.

And yes, all of those lies listed above do not apply to everyone, but I am guessing that at some point or another, at least one rings true for everyone's life. And it's very likely that one is causing all of us grief and pain right now.

It can be so difficult for us to see them for what they are when we are actually hearing them. They intertwine themselves within our own thought processes like they are one of our own. We consider them, without recognizing their origin or even how false they actually are. And they remain only lies until we submit to them, believing them and acting on them. That's when they become dangerous.

They can lead to jealousy, depression, anxiety, anger, entitlement, slothfulness, and even pride and greed. Yes, the above listed lies are all negative, but lies can also be too positive and self-centered to the point of being dangerous. Dangerous to the point of pushing loved ones away, and distancing ourselves from a humble and fulfilled life.

As we think back to our greatest struggles and toughest times in life, aren't lies often the root of our greatest hindrance to moving forward in life? So how do we make progress when facing these tempting falsehoods?

First, we need to remember that it was through a lie that sin and suffering entered this world. 

"Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’? ”The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’” “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it."
                                                                                                          - Genesis 3:1-6 -

The temptation of Eve by the serpent in the Garden of Eden was the push that got Eve to disbelieve God's commands. She knew what was true, what God desired of her and commanded. But in weakness in conjunction with an insisting lie, she decided to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, disobeying God and causing the fall of man. Lies are precursors to sin.

And second, we must know that hearing lies is not a sin in itself. Lies can lead to sin, but it does not always end this way. There is no question that we are all confronted with this deceit in life but the question does remain "How do we respond to them?"

Even Jesus was tempted. Living a perfect life, He was tempted by Satan to turn stones into bread to end His hunger during the forty-day fast. Satan also tries to tempt Him by offering dominion over all the kingdoms of the world (Matt. 4: 1-11). But Jesus doesn't give in to, I would argue, the biggest temptation in the history of man. He was offered the world and given an option to not die a gruesome death for our sins and yet He is unwavering. He commands, "Away from me, Satan! For it is written: 'Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.'" And Satan left Him.

So how do we respond when we hear voices saying that we're not thin enough or strong enough, or that we're not capable of succeeding or persevering, or that we're not loved? We have to realize that if we believe these twisted mistruths they become reality, can hurt us and those around us, and can lead to further actions that can cause even more pain. They become cyclical, worsening and worsening the more we buy into them. We need to recognize them for what they are and bring them to God in full reliance on Him.

Many unknowns exist as I prepare for the next big step in life. And I constantly hear lies about how the next chapter won't be successful or that my life is not going to fall into place. At times, I believe them, and I worry, which separates me from a faithful walk with God.

But I've realized these big steps are occurring all the time and aren't constrained to my senior year of college. Every day we are face-to-face with decisions, and ones that are influenced by the thoughts we have, both truthful and deceitful. We make decisions about friendships, leadership roles in work, clubs, or organizations, career decisions, what we decide to eat, drink, and wear, and how we perceive ourselves.

The fight is inevitable, so how do we combat this deception? Do we give in to those hidden lies that prod us into taking the paths we are trying to avoid, or do we recognize them for what they are, bringing them into the light, becoming stronger and victorious? It's a choice.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Chick-fil-A: Shedding Light on a Divided People


Who knew the statements of the president of a chicken sandwich serving restaurant could cause such a divide in our country? We've seen recently the horrific actions of one man shatter our community, but know the speech of one man is causing an uproar across the country? Lately we've seen how the American society is like a weathered bridge. It's fine when a few cars go over it, but the second a moving truck or semi comes along, the cracks become evident. We have some serious flaws we need to work on.

One, we need to be informed on what's actually said and how it's said. 

"We are very much supportive of the family -- the biblical definition of the family unit. We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that.We operate as a family business ... our restaurants are typically led by families; some are single. We want to do anything we possibly can to strengthen families. We are very much committed to that.We intend to stay the course. We know that it might not be popular with everyone, but thank the Lord, we live in a country where we can share our values and operate on biblical principles."
                                                                                                                                            -Dan Cathy, COO of Chick-fil-A-

This does not sound very hateful. He expressed his opinion in a respectful manner and held to his beliefs. I hadn't heard his initial comments until I took the time to dig for them. We are fed snippets, soundbites, and short paraphrases of what's actually said or done. We need to filter what we hear and see.


Two, there's a huge difference between hating someone (discriminating) and disliking what they do. Dan Cathy was holding to what he believed in, the validity of the bible. And it says,
"You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination."

That being said, our two greatest commandments come from Matthew 22 when Jesus said, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. And, love your neighbor as yourself."

So there's a conflict there. We're told it's wrong but we are told to love everyone.

I had the privilege to meet a manager for a local Chick-fil-A and he donated a large sum of food to an LGBTA event this past year, because he cared for the group and wanted to reach out to them. Another story I heard recently was that of coworker's friend. She is a lesbian, and went to Chick-fil-A yesterday with an "I'm Gay" t-shirt on. And she was delighted when they served her with a smile on their face. She didn't agree with him, but she respected the way Dan voiced his opinion and the strength he exhibited.

You can love people, and not agree with what they do. We all make mistakes and sin. I don't agree with underage drinking but I care for all my friends who do. The reason this is such a tough issue is that homosexuality is so visible. It's easy to spot two men or women holding hands in public, whereas, stealing, lying, and adultery are kept more in the shadows.

Regardless of the degree of visibility, it is possible to combine the two, and sadly we're not hearing that in the discussion of this issue and it's preventing healthy discourse.

Lastly, leaders in the roles of upholding and enforcing laws have to have backbones and honor our freedoms. Mayors stating they won't allow Chick-fil-A to build in their cities are allowing the opinions of one group while punishing another group for their opinions. Lately, many leaders (cough cough Penn State administrators, NCAA president, and politicians) are trying to be so politically correct and concerned with the opinions of particular groups, that we restrict the freedoms of others. To say that no one will get hurt in a "free" society is not being realistic.

"The cost of freedom is always high, but Americans have always paid it. And one path we shall never choose, and that is the path of surrender, or submission."
                                                                                                                       -JFK-

All that to say, I'm glad Dan Cathy voiced his opinion. It has brought to light the issues that already existed prior to his statements. Many are scared these days to voice their opinion, even if they have good reason for believing in it. We need to remember how we interpret what we see and hear, remember that this country is founded on freedom, and that we can disagree with a person's actions and still love the person.

I hope we can push forward and in ways, revert back to the roots of this nation. We heading down a slippery slope right now if we can't have healthy debates and respect the freedoms of others. And, running out to support or protest Chick-fil-A is not going to change this (although I am feeling a chicken sandwich and waffle fries right now). It's not about the definition of lines between us. It's realizing, like in those stories above, that we can reach across them, see eye-to-eye, and still care for each other despite our differing beliefs.